We learn to be afraid from other teachers that we work with

As a teacher I have always asked why? Why do we hire this way? Is this really the best lesson plan model? Shouldn’t we do something about the craziness in the halls? Is there a better way to take the students to lunch? What should be done about the number of absences we have? How can we make a real change in the attitude of our parents? If our current in school suspension program is so great why do we have so many repeat offenders? How are we going to change? Why do students not turn in their work and what are we as individuals and as a school going to fix it? Are these standards really important? How can we help our parents? Don’t we want to ask the questions that will not only make significant change when we find a solution but will also make big differences during the process of making the change. I try to ask the big questions, the questions that do not have an easy answer or an easy solution. We need to ask all questions, but we must not be afraid of the hard questions. Most of the time when these questions are asked no one wants to discuss them. The people that ask the questions are deemed troublemakers, a pain in the butt, negative, or worse. The response is usually blaming someone else, "the district office says" or "the parents want" or "the principals demands" , and blah, blah, blah. I’m so sick of the excuses, I even make them my self.   The others rubb off on me and I can not let that happen..


Your excuses wound me and your explanations pour salt in the wound
~ unknown

There was a time in my teaching career when that I stopped speaking my mind and asking the hard questions. I was tired of feeling bad, being told I cause problems, and being on the outside. I was tired of feeling alone. But at what expense? In the process of being more accepted by my colleagues I gave up a bit of myself and my beliefs. I only asked the tough questions around a select few close and safe people. Although I had more “friends” I was not completely happy teaching. I could not figure out why. I began the process of figuring out why I was not as happy teaching as wanted when I had a conversation with my daughter Emma about being “popular”. Emma was having a hard time with some of the other students at the school. We were having an off again and on again conversations for a couple of weeks about this. During one of our conversations I asked her, “Do you want people to like you for the real you or the fake version of you?” “What is more important to you? 20 so so friends or 3 or 4 friends you can always count on?” She thought for a moment and said, “3 or 4 I can really count on.” I then asked, “Which you makes you the happiest, the fake you or the real you?” Emma replied, “the Real.” “So what do you have to do?” I asked. As Emma sat there and thought for a moment I realized something and I could not have said it any better than this eleven year old girl. Emma replied, “to be really happy I need to be the real me. If people don’t like the real me that's their problem. Because as long as I like myself and I have a few really good friends… I will be ok.” My eleven year old daughter taught me a lesson that day.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
~Elenor Roosvelt

Am I still afraid of being on the outside, of not being accepted? Sure. I can’t control that. Over time I have come to realize and have made a conscious decision that if something is going to be different, if the tough questions are going to be asked, I may as well be the one asking the questions. I believe it is the duty of every educator to ask the hard questions to try to make things different.

“A test of moral purpose is when we have the opportunity to speak out against something we know is wrong, and we choose not to. It’s when we remain silent. Or when we leave. In the teacher’s lounge, it is not speaking when we hear others blaming a child or criticizing a teacher. Doing nothing is failing the test.” (p. 153)
~ The Hero’s Journey, Brown and Moffett

Shawn